Your health records are now public

Our friends at the Turkish Cypriot health ministry have had their database dumped on the dark web, sharing sensitive medical data across two hundred and two nationalities. Dutch experts verified this lovely collection of three hundred and forty thousand records, raising delightful concerns of blackmail, identity theft, and stalking. We protect ourselves from this colossal mess by simply preparing for a lifetime of fraud and endless suspicion, as there is no patch for leaked medical history. It is just another marvellous milestone in the proud history of government cybersecurity.