Shock horror: Train Wi-Fi is rubbish

In a stunning revelation that surprised absolutely nobody, Ofcom confirmed rail passengers are being starved of connectivity because network providers and train companies seem to be actively collaborating to keep us in the pre-digital age. If you are one of the brave souls attempting to send an email on your morning commute, your primary defense is apparently to dust off a paperback book or simply stare blankly out of the window. Relying on these networks to do actual work is a recipe for high blood pressure, so perhaps we should all just accept our offline fate and stop pretending we can work on the 08:15 to Paddington.