Regulators Notice AI Exists At Last

The UK finance ministry, the Bank of England, and the FCA have collectively decided to panic about advanced AI models potentially toppling our shaky financial stability. Apparently, these frontier models possess cyber capabilities that make a skilled human practitioner look like they are still using an abacus. This bureaucratic epiphany impacts every firm holding customer data or market integrity together with string. Protecting the financial system now requires firms to proactively bolster defenses before the robots figure out our passwords are all still Admin123. It is a systemic threat we all saw coming while the regulators were busy having very expensive biscuits in meetings.