FBI Lab Results Stolen, Just Lovely

Why do we even bother securing perimeters when hackers can simply wander in and steal FBI special agents' blood and urine test records? This delightful intrusion leaves the affected agents braced for blackmail, targeted attacks, and inevitable scams. Surviving this bespoke biological mess requires agents to stay alert against impending extortion and scams, assuming anyone has the stamina. Same story, different day, except now confidential laboratory results are doing the rounds.