540 Phones, Zero Reasons to Smile

Our 5G future looks more like a 1G past as researchers prove 540 smartphone models can be turned into useless ornaments with some cheap radio kit. This affects anyone with a pocket and a pulse, specifically users of MediaTek and Qualcomm chipsets. While the vendors have deigned to release patches for these high-severity modem meltdowns, we must now pray that users actually install them before their emergency calls vanish into the ether. It is the usual dance of chasing updates for hardware that was apparently held together with digital string and hope.